Inner Light: An Intuitive Guide to Life, Love and Relationships

Welcome to Inner Light: An Intuitive Guide to Life, Love and Relationships

Hello and welcome to my Blog on Type Pad. My name is Catherine MacDonald.  As a Spiritualist Medium/ Psychic Advisor much of the work I do is focused on helping people get a handle on their Lives. Love and Relationships seem to be the biggest struggle for many people and so with that in mind I have decided to create a blog to share with people what I have learned by living by my Inner Light and Intuition!

It is my hope that I can enlighten and inspire people to get the most out of their Lives by helping them discover their own Inner Light and how they can raise their energy to have more love in their relationships and create more fulfilling lives! 

Valentine's Highs and Post Valentine's Blues

 
 

It is common around Valentine's to get become very focused on love relationships because the whole day is centred around selling us an ideal of love. This being the case we must be careful that we are not repeating old patterns.

The same thing happens at Christmas and New Year's as well. As a psychic I do see these holidays as the most difficult for singles or those who are trying to transition out of bad relationships. The holidays are the time when we are most likely to have a week moment and slip back into old relationship patterns even though we know we don't really want to.

It is hard to be alone when our whole culture is selling perfect relationships and idealized love. There is something very comforting about what is familiar and we all need a hit of energy once in a while. The problem is that once we have had the endorphin high we will hit the guilty low. So what to do???

If you find yourself back in a relationship with someone you know is not right for you do not beat yourself up. Realize that you are repeating the cycle and do what you can to stop it.

Remember that there are strong energy ties to the past and it takes time to change and feel comfortable in the changes we make. If you are feeling vulnerable and afraid you will fall back into a bad situation there are things you can do. 

1. Become more aware of your triggers. 

The next time you have the urge to get back into the toxic relationship and repeat the same old cycle have a look at the calendar. Are you near a pressure filled holiday date such as Valentine's or Christmas? Look at what is happening in your life. Have you got a lot of stress in your life such as job worries or money problems? Are you looking for comfort or distractions?  If you answered yes to any of the questions then you are likely going to be more vulnerable to repeating old patterns in relationships.

2. Seek support.

Talk to friends, family or a professional so you have somewhere to work out your feelings and can catch yourself before you make the same mistakes that you have in the past.

3. Keep active.

Meet new people, take up a new interest and limit if not totally eliminate the contact you have with the person who is a problem in you life. The less contact you have with this person and the busier you are the less likely you will fall into old habits and end up where you don't want to be. If you used to share interests with this person you may need to take a break from the activity or find a new way to take part in it that does not include the problem person. Remember they do know how to get what they want from you.

For more good tips check out THIS

But whatever you do know you will get though this tough time. Hang in there!

Know Yourself and Live Your Truth: How to Say NO and Mean it!

 

Once you have started to examine your relationship patterns as recommended in the last blog, you now have to get real with yourself. Now that you know that you subconsciously pick married men because they are "unavailable" and somehow "safe" or you need to be the "caretaker" or whatever you can no longer engage in this pattern without fully accepting the consequences of your choice to do so. 

 

While some men and woman may lie about their relationship status there are usually indicators that (if you have been with a married lover before) you should recognize.

 

First if there are restrictions on when you can call the person and you only have a cell phone or work number this can be a huge red flag. The other flag can be if he gets you to pay for the evening out or gets you to put it on your credit card and offers to pay you later. These patterns are indicators that this lover wants no record of your date and or he is financially strapped as most married guys tend to be.  Whether or not he tells you he is married you will find out eventually and you have a choice to make. 

 

If you are already involved with a married man you then have to disconnect from that relationship. While this will obviously be painful for you and for him you must realize that to remain in that relationship is an inequitable exchange of energy that will result in disappointment and resentment over time.

Now that you know it is done you must stick to your guns. You must stop seeing the man no matter how much he tries to manipulate you and you absolutely must stop taking his calls. If you can do this he will tire of the lack of response and eventually move on to someone new.

The hard part for you is to regain your life as a single woman and yes it can be lonely. To deal with that feeling of loneliness you must get busy rebuilding your life. Find ways to meet new people based on interests and tell your friends and family what you are going though if you know that they will be supportive. While you do not want to air all the dirty laundry of the affair, you do need to vent your feelings and check in with yourself to make sure you do not slip back into old patterns.

This relationship with Mr Married has taken up a lot of time and filled many hours of your time. It is addictive and just like the alcoholic who calls her sponsor when she is feeling weak you need to find a good friend of counselor with whom you can do the same sort of thing. This confidant will hear you out and yet call you on your nonsense if you try to talk yourself back into the relationship with Mr Married. There is safety and strength in numbers. Do not try to do this difficult transition all on your own.

You will fluctuate from being strong to caving and you need others around you to keep you strong even when you do not feel you are. Saying no is just the beginning meaning it and sustaining it over the long term is what counts. You can say no and mean it and in doing so you will get your self-respect, life and happiness back.    

To Thine Own Self Be True: To Know Yourself is to Respect Yourself!

Source: http://gailsart.com/images/0072.tif.JPG

So now you know why Mr. Married and looking for a bit on the side is coming to you but what do you do about it? This is the challenging part but this is where self-awareness, self-esteem and self-respect come in.

As we discussed in the last blog this married man is coming your way to get an energy hit from you. He is depleted and needing to fill up and is tapping on your personal energy to do it.  For you though this person is a lesson about your own needs and habits. When we are in the throws of the confusions of life and not really aware of what we are hear to learn and do we can get caught up in destructive, repetitive patterns and not even realize what we are doing and why.

Mr. married is getting your energy but what are you getting out of it? On some level you are meeting some need that you probably are not even a ware of. For example, you are alone and fearful of that status so you may be thinking that a sometime lover is better than no lover. Or he may be telling you how he feels he is misunderstood and that he needs you so you allow yourself to fall into the caretaker role.

Knowing that you do have these habits of behavior is one things but understanding why you do them and what is triggering you to repeat negative patterns in your life and how to change them is what self-awareness is all about.  Once you are aware of your patterns you will feel empowered to make choices and this allows for increased self-esteem and self-respect. 

Source: http://kunthy.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/self-esteem.jpg

So how do you become more self-aware? Well it is time you look at your past relationships with old lovers and family. Do you see any obvious patterns that you would like to change? If you are not sure you need to consider keeping a journal and start by asking the following questions:

What is the pattern I am repeating that is getting in the way of the kind of relationships I want?

Why is it that I repeat this pattern?

When in my life was the first time I accepted being second place in a relationship with someone?

What is it that I am trying to full up or get by allowing emotionally or physically unavailable people into my life?

What kind of person is my ideal partner and Why is it I think I must settle for less? In this case you need to list all the characteristics of your ideal man no matter how unrealistic they may seem.

I know  answering  the above questions may be a tough exercise to do, but I can assure you that doing the work on this and seeing the words written on paper will make the patterns more real to you as you become more self-aware.

Source: http://www.savagechickens.com/tag/self-awareness

Gaining self-awareness is the first step in changing how you think and react to situations in your life. As is said knowledge is power and that gives you the freedom to make positive, informed life decisions rather than just reacting and doing things on impulse. Once you feel empowered to make different decisions in your life your self-esteem and self-respect will increase and you will not be so vulnerable to the married guy.

In the next blog we will examine how to say no and mean it. After all living an authentic life is what it is all about.

Energy Signatures: Vibrational Level Does Matter!

In the last blog we were looking at why some women attract married men. As I said then, it is a matter of energy and more about what the ladies are doing right than wrong.Cheating on your spouse is about as low as you can go in a relationship and while I am writing this from a woman's point of view the same rules apply if it is a married woman who is cheating also. As I understand it all actions have consequences and those actions that are duplicitous are bound to have a negative impact on everyone involved. 

Unfortunately, the individual cheating is in such a low energy vibration that they are acting almost on a subconscious or an unaware level. They want what they want and often times do not care what the consequences are. Here again we see that the married men are looking for an energy hit and if you ladies are vulnerable you might just give it to them.

So where does the energy they are after come from? It is now time to discuss what an energy signature is and how each of them is different.

In spiritual terms an energy signature is just like a finger print. Some people call it your aura or an energy field.  Regardless of the name you give it, it is unique to you and identifies you from everyone else around you. 

Source: http://www.byregion.net/cgibin/users/profiles.pl?username=auraimaging

Above is a picture of a woman's aura/ energy signature this is often what I see around people and it does change in brightness and clarity depending on what is going on in the person's life. In the case of this woman she is dealing with a lot of emotional and spiritual growth.

Now when you are in a good place in your life and spiritually and intuitively on track your energy signature is strong, and at a high vibrational level. On the other hand if you are in a mess in your life and very unhappy or unsettled in your life your energy signature will indicate this by resonating a a much lower vibrational level. You will feel that something is lacking and you will feel like you need to fill up. 

An intuitive like myself might see this "need to fill up" as a dark or cloudy aura around the person and the energy might even feel heavy and repressing to someone on a much higher vibrational level.

In the case of the married men coming your way, ladies likely your energy signature is in a better stronger vibrational level and so they will gravitate towards it in an effort to fill up energetically and feel better about their lives.  While this may work for them for a short time it is not good for you. 

What happens to you ladies when mister married and unavailable has taken what he needs from you? Even if you are not psychic you do have intuition and you do know when someone's energy does not fit with yours. You may avoid it for a while but  eventually you end up feeling deflated and depleted when all is said and done. So much so that  some of you will even equate the feeling to being "used" by the guy. 

Simply put when two energy signatures are brought together the higher vibration will accommodate the lower one because the lover vibration is not able to move up beyond where it is at while the higher one can be brought down even if it is only a temporary situation.  Like many other situations in life energy signatures will play to the lowest common denominator. So while you might give him a brief energetic lift this married man is literally sapping your life energy and dragging you down.

In the next blog we will look at  self-respect, self-awareness and self-esteem  and how to strengthen these so you can boost your energy signature. Especially  if you have gotten drawn into a situation with a married man, you might be feeling low and guilty and so you have to rebuild your confidence.

Why Do I Keep Attracting Married Men and Only Married Men?!

In this day and age extra marital affairs, and skyrocketing divorce  rates  many single women are navigating the dating scene and seem to be attracting married men into their lives even though this is the last thing they truly want.  With much pain and frustration they ask "Why Do I Keep Attracting Married Men and Only Married Men?!" What am I doing wrong?!

First off lets get out of the negative thought pattern of assuming that you are doing something wrong ladies! You might be lonely and tempted to go there and so you might be sending out that vibe but that is being human and there is much more to it than that! It is more likely that you attract married men because  have great energy, zest for life and confidence to go after your dreams. It is exactly these assets that are drawing these selfish or messed up married guys to you. They admire what you have and they want a hit of your high energy. 

The more I do relationship readings the more I have noticed this pattern happening. Usually ladies you are younger than the married men that pursue you and your life is in some kind of transition. Energetically you feel like you are on shaky ground and so you may be insecure even though a huge good transition is just around the corner in your life.

The combination of the vulnerability and your future potential success and strength is what these married guys are attracted to. They are not happy in their own lives and so they want to have a fantasy experience with someone who does not have all the complications and responsibilities they are saddled with.  While this is selfish thinking and some of these men may just be players there are some who really are just unhappy and not able or willing to make the changes they need to in their lives. Because they do not have the courage to make lasting change they then look for ways to alleviate their anger, frustration and boredom and ladies you come along with your great energy and personal power and they want to just be in that energy even if it is only for a little while.

So what is wrong with the single guys then? That is a great question! I am glad you asked... While you have really strong personal power and great energy that they would love draw from the simple answer to the question is that the single guys are intimidated. They see that you have a plan and goals and focus on the future and they just don't know how to handle this kind of  woman. Now this is not to say that all single guys are like that but you will find as you really raise your own energy signature the more difficult it is for men to relate to you. You may find less men to choose from but the the quality is better and THAT is what counts!

Remember that who you attract into your life is more about what you are doing right than what you are doing wrong in many cases. We draw certain people into our lives at various times because we have different lessons to learn. And while some of you ladies might be in bad places in your lives and attract the wrong man to you many times wondering what the heck is up with that, there are still lessons to learn from these repeated experiences and they centre around self-respect, self-awareness, and self-esteem.  

In the next series of blogs we will look at raising your energy signature, self-respect, self-awareness and self-esteem from an energetic and intuitive perspective.