Source: http://gailsart.com/images/0072.tif.JPG
So now you know why Mr. Married and looking for a bit on the side is coming to you but what do you do about it? This is the challenging part but this is where self-awareness, self-esteem and self-respect come in.
As we discussed in the last blog this married man is coming your way to get an energy hit from you. He is depleted and needing to fill up and is tapping on your personal energy to do it. For you though this person is a lesson about your own needs and habits. When we are in the throws of the confusions of life and not really aware of what we are hear to learn and do we can get caught up in destructive, repetitive patterns and not even realize what we are doing and why.
Mr. married is getting your energy but what are you getting out of it? On some level you are meeting some need that you probably are not even a ware of. For example, you are alone and fearful of that status so you may be thinking that a sometime lover is better than no lover. Or he may be telling you how he feels he is misunderstood and that he needs you so you allow yourself to fall into the caretaker role.
Knowing that you do have these habits of behavior is one things but understanding why you do them and what is triggering you to repeat negative patterns in your life and how to change them is what self-awareness is all about. Once you are aware of your patterns you will feel empowered to make choices and this allows for increased self-esteem and self-respect.
Source: http://kunthy.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/self-esteem.jpg
So how do you become more self-aware? Well it is time you look at your past relationships with old lovers and family. Do you see any obvious patterns that you would like to change? If you are not sure you need to consider keeping a journal and start by asking the following questions:
What is the pattern I am repeating that is getting in the way of the kind of relationships I want?
Why is it that I repeat this pattern?
When in my life was the first time I accepted being second place in a relationship with someone?
What is it that I am trying to full up or get by allowing emotionally or physically unavailable people into my life?
What kind of person is my ideal partner and Why is it I think I must settle for less? In this case you need to list all the characteristics of your ideal man no matter how unrealistic they may seem.
I know answering the above questions may be a tough exercise to do, but I can assure you that doing the work on this and seeing the words written on paper will make the patterns more real to you as you become more self-aware.
Source: http://www.savagechickens.com/tag/self-awareness
Gaining self-awareness is the first step in changing how you think and react to situations in your life. As is said knowledge is power and that gives you the freedom to make positive, informed life decisions rather than just reacting and doing things on impulse. Once you feel empowered to make different decisions in your life your self-esteem and self-respect will increase and you will not be so vulnerable to the married guy.
In the next blog we will examine how to say no and mean it. After all living an authentic life is what it is all about.
