Valentine's Highs and Post Valentine's Blues

 
 

It is common around Valentine's to get become very focused on love relationships because the whole day is centred around selling us an ideal of love. This being the case we must be careful that we are not repeating old patterns.

The same thing happens at Christmas and New Year's as well. As a psychic I do see these holidays as the most difficult for singles or those who are trying to transition out of bad relationships. The holidays are the time when we are most likely to have a week moment and slip back into old relationship patterns even though we know we don't really want to.

It is hard to be alone when our whole culture is selling perfect relationships and idealized love. There is something very comforting about what is familiar and we all need a hit of energy once in a while. The problem is that once we have had the endorphin high we will hit the guilty low. So what to do???

If you find yourself back in a relationship with someone you know is not right for you do not beat yourself up. Realize that you are repeating the cycle and do what you can to stop it.

Remember that there are strong energy ties to the past and it takes time to change and feel comfortable in the changes we make. If you are feeling vulnerable and afraid you will fall back into a bad situation there are things you can do. 

1. Become more aware of your triggers. 

The next time you have the urge to get back into the toxic relationship and repeat the same old cycle have a look at the calendar. Are you near a pressure filled holiday date such as Valentine's or Christmas? Look at what is happening in your life. Have you got a lot of stress in your life such as job worries or money problems? Are you looking for comfort or distractions?  If you answered yes to any of the questions then you are likely going to be more vulnerable to repeating old patterns in relationships.

2. Seek support.

Talk to friends, family or a professional so you have somewhere to work out your feelings and can catch yourself before you make the same mistakes that you have in the past.

3. Keep active.

Meet new people, take up a new interest and limit if not totally eliminate the contact you have with the person who is a problem in you life. The less contact you have with this person and the busier you are the less likely you will fall into old habits and end up where you don't want to be. If you used to share interests with this person you may need to take a break from the activity or find a new way to take part in it that does not include the problem person. Remember they do know how to get what they want from you.

For more good tips check out THIS

But whatever you do know you will get though this tough time. Hang in there!

Comments

[Catherine MacDonald Spiritualist Medium/Psychic]

Hello Helen:

I am glad you find the blog helpful. I truly feel for you with what you are going through with this man.

I know it is a struggle but you will find the strength to release him and the attachment when you are ready.

Blessings,

Catherine

[Helen]

Hi Catherine,
Thanks for the next installment of your blog. I feel like I've been banging my head against a wall. This man definitely knows how to manipulate me. He knows exactly what to say to draw me back in. I feel great when we are connecting, and I can convince myself that it's a good thing. I guess that's the trigger for me...the attention... When a few days go by and I don't hear from him, I start down this internal dialogue that is self-depreciating. You know, telling myself that I'm an idiot to think that he might care about me. I have lost my self respect, I'm so embarassed and humiliated. So, I have come back here for some words of strength. It's so frustrataing because I have let him go before, a few times, and he always comes back to me.
Thanks for you blog. It helps.

Helen